Strange viewpoint from a 50something

Posts tagged ‘questions’

One question after another, conclusion.

25 questions concluded….

21. The saddest time that shook your world. The death of my Mom. A year ago this past Sunday. By far, one of the hardest years I’ve endured. I’ve wondered many times why her death has hit me so hard… I’ve lost many other important people in my lifetime. She was my Mom. She was my anchor. It’s true I am older but she always kept me grounded and she inspired me with her spunkyness. She was so many things to me. The void is very huge. And I still hurt.

22. The unfulfilled ambition that still haunts you. Throughout my childhood and into my teens, I was going to be a singer. And back then I could sing. Maybe if I hadn’t felt so insecure I might have taken a different path with it. But at that time, my sorry self-esteem did not go well with my teen years. I did a lot of things I shouldn’t have and ran with the wrong people, trying to find some sort of validation. Eventually delving into the world of drugs and mischief, and I didn’t look back for many, many years. The fact that I came out on the other side of the drug use is a wonder, but I did. And that I am fairly undamaged from the abuse to my body, has me perplexed! Unfortunately, the loss of my innocence and the loss of my voice changed that long ago dream.

23. 23 was actually a question I didn’t like. And because I am so mentally challenged at this time, I can’t even make one up.

24. Describe your funeral. I would like for there to be a gathering, just as we did for my Mom. We called it a Celebration of Life Party. Remembering the good times. Yes, there was a lot of crying. Remembering the good times. There was also much laughter. Remembering the good times. Just the way she wanted it. Always remembering the good times, that is how I want it. Simple as that.

25. The way you want to be remembered. That I helped other people realize just how wonderful it is to have life by the ass. Until that last breath… you’re in charge! No matter what the circumstances being alive is awesome. Keep making those good times. =]

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Dear Reader, I will apologize for the lengthy gaps in between posts. Hit a couple of personal road blocks that I had to figure my way around. The detours were plenty. Living the life, I am. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

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One question after another, part 3

25 questions continued…

To start this post from the beginning, go here… https://iam2stl.com/2013/10/03/one-question-after-another/

To the second 5 questions, go here… https://iam2stl.com/2013/10/08/one-question-after-another-part-2/

11. The piece of wisdom you would pass on to a child. Keep the power of play in your life. And then play some more. Never stop playing. Growing up is not what you believe it to be. And when you do grow up… never stop playing.

12. The unlikely interest that grabs your curiosity. True crime stories, and it began with murder mysteries. My Mom was a big reader of the mysteries… so I started with all her hand me downs. Mostly Agatha Christie and Earl Stanley Gardner. When all that craziness was going on on the west coast with Charles Manson and his crew, in 1969, I was just wetting my appetite for true crime novels… then a few years later out came “Helter Skelter”, by Vincent Bugliosi. Wow. After that, I found “In Cold Blood” by Truman Capote. And it was on… throughout the years I have devoured whatever true crime books I could find. It simple amazes me, and it frightens and saddens me, what one human will do to another.

13. The treasured item you lost and wish you had again.  The year I was 16, after half of my hair was yanked off my head by a press pulley. That summer I went to work with my Dad, who was a printer. I leaned back in the chair I was sitting in and a printing press pulley caught my hair and instead of turning the press off and unraveling my hair, the pulley began pushing into my skull so I was yanked away from the machine. The shock to my skin/hair roots was so dramatic that it took close to a year before any hair began to grow. Remembering that I was 16 at the time of this incident, it was such a game changer for me… I was NOT like other girls. I was half bald. What guy was attracted to me? Good grief. Hats, scarves and constant comb over hairdos…. this is why I HATE hats of any kind!!

14. The unending quest that drives you on. Life itself. As I age, time seems to be moving faster. So each birthday I pass is a much sweeter celebration since there are so many who left us much too soon.

15. The poem that touches your soul. Corny as it sounds, I have two favorites and they both involve baseball. Who’s On First. Which was a skit done by Abbott and Costello. And ‘Casey at the Bat’ by Ernest Thayer. (I am a huge baseball fan, a bleed-red St Louis Cardinals fan for life!) The ‘Who’s on First’ skit I’ve seen many times and it’s funny!! I think I even tried to memorize it back then! But Casey at the Bat, that was real to me. As I was a ball player growing up I felt every moment of this poem ~ as I struck out many times in my own little Mudville.

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Aside

One question after another…

For the past few months I have wanted to do more blogging, but the words… I just can’t get them to paper without sounding like I’m drowning in misery! I have a few great posts left in me but just can’t hook on the thoughts and bring them to the surface. So instead of forcing it, I am going to try jump-starting in a different direction.

I came across an edition of a TV Guide from a European Sunday newspaper on one of my planes. Since I love to read, I browsed through it. Endless stories about the tv shows that are currently showing. It also included a piece called “The Definite Article”. Where they ask a celebrity (in this case it was Scottish actor Tom Conti) a set “of devilishly probing questions – and will only accept THE definitive answer”. They were 25 very interesting questions, that really had me wondering how I would answer each one. So I am swiping the idea and will answer those same 25 questions myself.

1. The prized possession you value above all others. My car. It represents my freedom. I can get in it at any time and find myself on a new path to anywhere I wish to go. I’ve had many cars over the years… and to each one, belong memories of my life’s adventures. Many of my greatest moments revolve around my travels. Driving has been a passion since I was 18 and I cannot live without that mobility. Whether I was running to, or running away from, something ~ my car has always been my one solid.

2. The unqualified regret you wish you could amend. My first tattoo. I was 13, and I had a crush on a kid who had a tattoo (with me it was always the bad boy… sheesh!). 13 years old and all I heard was – a needle, a pencil and a bottle of indian ink. I’ve covered all of them since then, but the irony here is – that kid with the tattoo that I had the crush on..  he never knew the influence he had on me and he never saw the tattoos I scratched onto my own skin, for him. (**)

3. The way you would spend your fantasy 24 hours, with no travel restrictions. Up with the sun, I’d start with a full breakfast at a street cafe, somewhere on the east coast, maybe Savannah, Georgia, so I can watch the sun rise on the water. I would then spend the afternoon on a clear beach, near the equator, say the Galapagos Islands, with a margarita in each hand, and some of my girl peeps, just laughing and giggling!! Dinner time would find me in Italy, at the table awaiting a huge plate of spaghetti and never-ending supplies of bread and wine. I would wind down the day, behind the wheel of a badass V8 5 speed, with a full tank of gas, windows wide open, music blaring.. zipping along the Autobahn, in Germany. (No speed limits…. ahh what a dream!!) Then to end my fantasy day, I would have a 2 hour massage in a comfortable bed under the stars, somewhere right here in these beautiful United States of America.

4. The temptation you wish you could resist.  Oreo cookies and a glass of ice cold milk. ‘Nuff said…..

5. The book that holds an everlasting resonance. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Published in July 1960. One of a few books I have read more than 20 times. With each read, I find another nuance that I didn’t catch before. The characters, the time and places portrayed here were touchable to me… the southern charm and quality. The heat and humidity. The racism, always wondering about the black/white issues that still prevail, even today. But the low key heroism of Atticus Finch, that is what captured my attention most. His honesty in raising his children. (For that time in history he was a very unconventional single parent.) His humility about life and his backbone. These are the things that drew me to him. The strongest of any other character that I’ve come across, he stood up for what was right, not what was popular. He treated everyone with great respect and gracious honor. His morals about human beings taught me to be open and fair to all I meet. And to remember that we all walk a road that no one else will ever understand. Funny, I’ve just this moment realized I have looked for Atticus Finch in every man I have ever met. wow…  I’m going to have to let my brain chew on that one for a bit…..                 (I’ve often wondered if, because of this book, it’s the reason I find myself so comfortable living in the south…. hmmm  more food for thought! (**) )

It took me a couple days to answer just these first 5… and I still have 20 to go!! So this will be a multiple segment post!! I am discovering a little about myself that even I didn’t realize! Enjoy… it may take a while for me to answer the next 5, try to stay tuned!

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on October 3, 2013